this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
