He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
