Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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