Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
