Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize