i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
