I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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