you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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