you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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