i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
