were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
