Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
