I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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