that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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