everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
