I puked a lego.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
