If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
