i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
