she was so not down for the gang bang
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
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wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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