Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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