Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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