So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
