Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
