his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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