my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
