super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
