I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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