I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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