i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
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I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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