wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
