Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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