Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
