i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
