the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
