so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
