He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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