he shaved USA in his pubs
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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