Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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