come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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