Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
