somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
