Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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