hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
