Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
