Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
