I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
