some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
