chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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