Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
