Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
