can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my poor anus
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
