'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
