you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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