I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
