She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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