a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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