First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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