my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.