She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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