Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(915): View more from Texas

dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop

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(915): dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop http://tfl.nu/1szd

Replies (22) Good night (1036) Bad night (4173) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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(513): i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot. http://tfl.nu/7qf7

Replies (30) Good night (3676) Bad night (2760) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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(517): Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite. http://tfl.nu/8on0

Replies (7) Good night (841) Bad night (2569) Order T-Shirt
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.

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(+64): No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker. http://tfl.nu/g6g3

Replies (7) Good night (5921) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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(817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8

Replies (18) Good night (5731) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.

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(314): I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook. http://tfl.nu/a58w

Replies (23) Good night (6822) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook

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(918): People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook http://tfl.nu/2iw1

Replies (11) Good night (3958) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.

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(443): I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from. http://tfl.nu/qa0c

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(702): View more from Nevada

No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.

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(702): No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up. http://tfl.nu/ztp2

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(315): View more from New York

Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun

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(315): Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun http://tfl.nu/t9ze

Replies (20) Good night (823) Bad night (4640) Order T-Shirt
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(239): View more from Florida

i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.

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(239): i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose. http://tfl.nu/xxid

Replies (6) Good night (773) Bad night (2457)
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(310): View more from California

I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

(310): View more from California

Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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(310): I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.* (310): Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche. http://tfl.nu/gxdj

Replies (12) Good night (2755) Bad night (608)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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(717): can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck http://tfl.nu/v7jv

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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(787): I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now? http://tfl.nu/uqqo

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(315): View more from New York

My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.

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(315): My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair. http://tfl.nu/70uu

Replies (6) Good night (571) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

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